Keep your guard up, and don't offer them soft targets.
Marcus Aurelius likens difficult people to cheaters in the ring, to boxers who bite and scratch. In response, he says, we ought to keep our guard up. We have to be careful not to give them chances to catch us by surprise or unprotected. Elsewhere, he speaks of avoiding false friends.
His point is that while we can't make selfish or obnoxious people stop existing, we can limit our dealings with them. We can choose not to set ourselves up to be hurt or disappointed.
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When people show us who they are, we ought to believe them.
They are the way they are. They have to be that way. We don't have to offer them soft targets. We should not expect figs in winter, the Stoics said. To that we should add: don't be surprised when someone does what they always do. In fact, expecting them to be any different would make us the unreasonable ones.
TRY THIS TODAY
Think of one person who regularly catches you off guard. Decide today how you'll keep your guard up the next time you deal with them.
Much of what I've learned about Stoicism comes from Ryan Holiday. Find more of his writing at dailystoic.com and ryanholiday.net.
While I have edited much of this content, there are some cases where I have taken Ryan Holiday's words directly. I've included them because I think they are powerful and will be helpful for you. They are also helpful for me, and I've put them here so I can learn and understand more myself.
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