Advice for life
Lines I have kept close over the years, from athletes, explorers, leaders and thinkers. Many first went out as Game Plan cards. Take the one you need today.
Decide and act
“
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
AMELIA EARHART
Aviator, 1897 to 1937
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Most of the big calls I've made, from buying a self-storage business in 2004 to taking the chair at Basketball Australia, were hardest before I said yes. Once I'd decided, the work was just work.
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The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it, as long as you really believe it 100 percent.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Seven-time Mr Olympia, actor and former Governor of California
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
I've seen it on the court and in the boardroom. The players and founders who get there could picture it clearly long before anyone else could. Belief isn't a plan, but no plan works without it.
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You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.
MARCUS AURELIUS
Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, AD 121 to 180
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
I can't control the referee, the market or the board vote. I can control how I prepare and how I respond. That's where my energy goes.
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Hustle until you no longer have to introduce yourself.
ORIGIN UNKNOWN
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
A reputation is built quietly, one kept promise at a time. Do good work for long enough and people will know your name before you walk in.
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When deciding whether to commit to something, if I feel anything less than, “Wow. That would be amazing. Absolutely. Hell yeah.”, then my answer is no.
When you say no to most things, you leave room in your life to really throw yourself completely into that rare thing that makes you say “Hell yeah.”
We're all busy. We've all taken on too much. Saying yes to less is the way out.
DEREK SIVERS
Entrepreneur and writer
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Saying no is the hardest skill I've had to learn as a director. Every yes to something average is a no to something that might matter more.
Where the magic happens
The things worth doing sit outside the circle you're comfortable in.
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Every worthwhile step in my career felt uncomfortable at the start, from leaving the court for a chief executive's desk to taking a business into the US. If it feels completely safe, it probably isn't growth.
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You'll never change your life until you change something that you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.
JOHN C. MAXWELL
Author and leadership coach
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Masters basketball has taught me that fitness is built in ordinary weeks, not the week before a tournament. Business works the same way.
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Never mistake activity for achievement.
JOHN WOODEN
UCLA basketball coach, ten national titles
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Busy is easy. I've sat in plenty of meetings that felt productive and changed nothing. At the end of each week, ask what actually moved forward.
Success, up close
What success really looks like
What people think it looks like: a straight line. What it really looks like: a tangle that still ends up in the right place.
AFTER A DRAWING BY DEMETRI MARTIN
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
No business I've built went in a straight line. The tangle is normal. Expect it, and keep going.
Success is an iceberg
People see the success. Underneath sit the risks, focus, goals, persistence, failure, massive action, sacrifice, habits and hard work.
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
When people see a title or a result, they rarely see the years underneath it. Show young athletes and founders the whole iceberg, not just the tip.
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I wasn't real quick, and I wasn't real strong. Some guys will just take off and it's like, whoa. So I beat them with my mind and my fundamentals.
LARRY BIRD
Boston Celtics, three-time NBA champion
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
I was never the most gifted athlete on the court either. Preparation, fundamentals and reading the game kept me there, and those habits have served me better in business than any talent.
Slay dragons
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This week you will slay dragons, but in a deserted forest, with no admiring spectators. You are superior to the mere mortals around you, but like an alien from outer space, you must keep your superiority secret. You carry the economy on your shoulders, but get no award.
Above all else, a true entrepreneur must be able to give himself his own gold stars, and be satisfied with that. The two emotional secrets of top entrepreneurs are: immunity to criticism and minimised need for understanding or recognition from others.
DAN KENNEDY
Marketing author and speaker
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Much of the best work in a small business happens where no one sees it. Learn to be satisfied with your own standard, because the applause rarely arrives on time.
Would I be impressed?
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We do a lot and get a lot done. I'm amazed and dismayed at how little others make happen, hour by hour, day by day.
If I came to your business on a field trip and followed you around all day, every day, for a week, how impressed and in awe would I be at everything you do to attract new customers, convert leads, analyse your business, nurture your customers, manage your time, improve your knowledge and skill, and everybody you associate with?
If I wouldn't be all that impressed, then you shouldn't be either.
DAN KENNEDY
Marketing author and speaker
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
It's a confronting question, and a useful one. Picture someone you respect following you around for a week. What would they see?
How to live
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Strive to get smarter. To do a lot of things better. To do at least one thing so well no one else can match your skill. Set, pursue and achieve a lot of goals. Resist status quo, ignore less creative or ambitious peoples' criticisms, disapproval or honest confusion.
Find something useful and immensely profitable to do that interests you immensely and do it. If you feel you must escape from your regular daily life to have fun or be happy, sit down and reconsider your regular daily life.
DAN KENNEDY
Marketing author and speaker
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
The last line is the one that stays with me. If you're always waiting for the weekend or the holiday, change the week.
Stay hungry. Stay foolish.
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Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
STEVE JOBS
Co-founder of Apple, Stanford commencement address, 2005
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Other people's plans for your life are usually the safe ones. The best decisions I've made were the ones that felt like mine.
Leading people
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Average players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached. Great players want to be told the truth.
DOC RIVERS
NBA coach and former player
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
As a player I wanted the truth from my coaches, even when it stung. As a chair I try to give it the same way: clearly, kindly and early.
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When I talk to managers, I get the feeling that they are important. When I talk to leaders, I get the feeling that I am important.
ALEXANDER DEN HEIJER
Speaker and author
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
It's the same idea behind the line I try to live by: don't seek to be a person of importance, seek to be a person of value. The best leaders I've worked with made everyone in the room feel they mattered.
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Train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough so they don't want to.
RICHARD BRANSON
Founder of Virgin Group
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Investing in your people is never wasted. Some will move on and do great things, and they'll speak well of you when they do.
The iceberg of ignorance
Staff know every front-line problem. Team leaders know 74% of them, managers 9% and executives just 4%.
SIDNEY YOSHIDA
Consultant, 1989
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
The further you sit from the front line, the less you see. Boards work better when directors hear from the people doing the work, not just the reports that reach the top.
To victory and peace
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In war, resolution. In defeat, defiance. In victory, magnanimity. In peace, goodwill.
WINSTON S. CHURCHILL
British Prime Minister, 1874 to 1965
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Four lines on how to carry yourself in every season. I find the last two the hardest: being gracious when you win and generous once the contest is over.
13 inspiring traits of exceptional leaders
1.
They trust you to do the job you've been hired to do.
2.
They seek your advice and input.
3.
They find opportunities to let you shine.
4.
They recognise your contributions.
5.
They have your back during tough times.
6.
They are master storytellers.
7.
They challenge you to do bigger and better things.
8.
They express appreciation.
9.
They are responsive.
10.
They know when to apologise.
11.
They give credit where credit is due.
12.
They treat others with dignity and respect.
13.
They care.
GLENN LEIBOWITZ
Writer on leadership
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Number 13 holds the others together. People can tell very quickly whether you care.
Three themes from the Opals
THEME ONE
Handle adversity
In a tough situation or when things are not going our way, we want team-mates that can stay focused. Adversity is overcome through poise, focus on the moment, positive self-talk and courage. Treat a pressure situation as a challenge rather than a threat. There is an appropriate saying, “Adversity introduces you to yourself.” Adversity is a great opportunity.
THEME TWO
A ‘we’ group
Attitudes can be developed just like physical skills, and a team must be made up of ‘we’ people rather than ‘I’ people. A ‘we’ group is characterised by affection, absence of blame, mutual respect, self-sacrifice and an absence of cliquish behaviour. Players who see themselves as superior, who blame their team-mates or who are jealous of team-mates do not have the attitudinal skills necessary to play for the Opals.
THEME THREE
Relentless persistence
We want team-mates who will never quit, team-mates who will apply themselves relentlessly. This must be a tradition. Success comes to those who can focus on the moment, those who “play one play at a time”, rather than those who focus on abstract notions of what might happen.
TOM MAHER
Former Opals head coach, coach at five Olympic Games
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Tom built Opals teams around these three ideas. They hold just as well in a boardroom or a start-up as they do on the court.
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Men wanted for hazardous journey to the South Pole. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success.
ERNEST SHACKLETON
Polar explorer, 1874 to 1922. Said to have run in a London newspaper in 1914
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Whether or not it ever ran, the lesson stands. Be honest about how hard the job is, and the right people will still put up their hand.
Thinking clearly
The confirmation bias
Facts that agree with what we already believe get overvalued. Facts that challenge us get undervalued. Beliefs with no facts behind them are just foolish.
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Before a big decision, ask someone to argue the other side. It's uncomfortable, and it's worth it.
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People don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.
OFTEN CREDITED TO FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
Philosopher, 1844 to 1900
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Telling people the truth is part of the job of a chair or a coach. How you tell it decides whether they can hear it.
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You look at me and laugh because I'm different. I look at you and laugh because you're all the same.
LADY GAGA
Singer and songwriter
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Some of the best people I've worked with didn't fit the mould. Different is often where the value is.
Geeks and repetitive tasks
Doing a job by hand is quicker the first time. Building a system takes longer up front, then wins every time after that.
AFTER A CHART BY BRUNO OLIVEIRA
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Automation is what EngageRM does for sport, so I'm biased. The time you spend building the system pays you back every time the task comes around again.
Who people trust
From least to most trusted: banner ads, search ads, TV and media, online reviews, influencers, friends and family.
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
People trust people more than they trust advertising. In sport, your fans, families and members are your best marketing.
The Golden Circle
When I first started reading books about how to do things better, I used to flip straight to what I thought were the juicy bits: the middle of the book, where I could quickly learn what to do and how to do it. How dumb was I?
It took me about ten years to learn that knowing what to do and how to do it didn't lead to the success I'd hoped for. The part I skipped over was the boring stuff: having the right mindset, being clear about what I wanted to do and having a goal that meant something to me. In other words, the why.
When I played sport, I always wanted to be on the team that really wanted to compete and win, even if it had less skill than its opponents. We called teams with less desire frontrunners. When they were in front and things were easy, they won. When the pressure was on in a big game, they couldn't match the desire, the why, of their opponents.
In early 2012 I saw a video by Simon Sinek that changed the way I looked at business and life. His message was simple: people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it. Why you do something matters more than what you do or how you do it.
Watch Simon Sinek's talk (18 minutes) →
NED COTEN
After Simon Sinek's Golden Circle
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99% of the harm is caused in your head, by you and your thoughts. 1% of the harm is caused by reality, what actually happens and the outcome. Most of the time, the problem isn't the problem. The way you think about the problem is.
ORIGIN UNKNOWN
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Most of the pressure I've felt in business came from the story I told myself about a problem, not the problem itself.
Living well
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My favourite things in life don't cost any money. It's really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.
STEVE JOBS
Co-founder of Apple, 1955 to 2011
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
Time is the one thing you can't raise more of. Spend it on the people and the work that matter to you.
Here is a comprehensive list of everything you're entitled to and what the world owes you.
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
The page is blank on purpose. Nobody owes you a career, a contract or a result. That's freeing once you accept it.
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Live beneath your means. Return everything you borrow. Stop blaming other people. Admit it when you make a mistake. Give clothes you don't wear to charity. Do something nice and try not to get caught. Listen more; talk less. Every day take a 30-minute walk. Strive for excellence, not perfection. Be on time. Don't make excuses. Don't argue. Get organised. Be kind to people. Be kind to unkind people. Let someone cut ahead of you in line. Take time to be alone. Cultivate good manners. Be humble. Realise and accept that life isn't fair. Know when to keep your mouth shut. Go an entire day without criticising anyone. Learn from the past. Plan for the future. Live in the present. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff.
ORIGIN UNKNOWN
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
The first line is the one I'd underline. Living below your means gives you choices when opportunity, or trouble, arrives.
The top five regrets of the dying
1.
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to change?
BRONNIE WARE
Australian palliative care nurse and author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
NED COTEN
MY TAKE
No one at the end wishes they'd spent more time at work. I keep that in mind when the diary fills up and family time gets squeezed.
Got a line that keeps you going?
If one of these has stayed with you, or you have one I should add, send me a note. I read my own email and reply as quickly as possible, generally within 24 hours.
NED COTEN
Chair, director and executive leader in commercial, data and global sport.
Copyright © 2026 Ned Coten Melbourne, Australia