The best leaders surround themselves with people who challenge them, not people who flatter them.
We have to cultivate honesty, both in ourselves and in those around us. The best leaders don't surround themselves with flatterers. They surround themselves with people who challenge them, keep them accountable and help them see reality as it is. It's one of the hardest disciplines of leadership, and one of the most essential.
People admired Marcus Aurelius. Or they wanted something from him. Or they feared him. So they agreed with him, filtered what they told him and flattered him. Think of the famous scene in Hamlet where Polonius agrees with everything Hamlet says:
HAMLET, ACT 3, SCENE 2
Hamlet: Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?
Polonius: By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed.
Hamlet: Methinks it is like a weasel.
Polonius: It is backed like a weasel.
Hamlet: Or like a whale?
Polonius: Very like a whale.
This would have been an everyday occurrence for the emperor of Rome. It was for Hadrian too. In fact, that's one of the reasons Hadrian took to the young Marcus: he was a boy who told the emperor the truth, a little like the child in the fable of the emperor's new clothes. Hadrian nicknamed him Verissimus, “the most truthful”.
Perhaps this is why Marcus wrote only for himself and never published his journal. He didn't want people fawning over his work. He wanted a private space to hold himself accountable. When he wrote about striving not to be “dyed purple”, he meant not being fooled by the subtle lies and flattery his position attracted. When he wrote about being done a service by those who pointed out his mistakes, he was trying to create an environment that encouraged the truth, not a bubble of agreement.
TRY THIS TODAY
Ask one person you trust: what's something I need to hear that people aren't telling me? Then thank them for the answer.
Much of what I've learned about Stoicism comes from Ryan Holiday. Find more of his writing at dailystoic.com and ryanholiday.net.
While I have edited much of this content, there are some cases where I have taken Ryan Holiday's words directly. I've included them because I think they are powerful and will be helpful for you. They are also helpful for me, and I've put them here so I can learn and understand more myself.
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