Finding John Coten’s family
For most of our lives, our father’s past was a mystery.
Dad died in 1970, when we were very young. He had lost contact with his family long before, and the story we grew up with turned out not to be the true one. In 2017 a meeting in London started a search that finally showed he had grown up as Maurice Joseph Graham in New Zealand, and led us to his sister Helen and her family.
These documents and photos tell the story from several points of view. They also appear at the end of Meg: A Memoir.
The story
Introduction
PDF, two pages
Why our father’s early life was a mystery, and how each of the sections that follow adds to the story.
The search to find John Coten’s family
PDF, three pages
An overview by Hilary and Richard Tulloch of the remarkable circumstances in which Dad’s family was found.
Hilary and Richard Tulloch’s journey
PDF, three pages
A more personal account of their search, and their own experiences along the way.
The story we grew up with
PDF, two pages
A short summary Mum wrote for us, setting out the version of Dad’s life that we grew up with.
Ned and Jim’s perspective
PDF, two pages
How the discovery unfolded for the two of us, as we learned the truth about our own father.
Overview of findings about Maurice Graham
PDF, 14 pages
A genealogical record of what was found about Maurice Joseph Graham, Dad’s original identity, compiled by Hilary Tulloch in November 2017.
Remembering Meg, by Helen Mulgan
PDF, two pages
A moving reflection by Dad’s sister, Helen, on being reunited with the family of her long-lost brother.
Photos and documents
John Coten’s death certificate
PDF, one page
Issued when Dad died in 1970. It says he was born in Quetta, Pakistan, and had lived in Queensland for a year and Western Australia for 21 years. Our research later showed these details were not his true origins.
Maurice and Helen as children
Maurice (Dad) and his sister Helen growing up in Otaki, New Zealand: Maurice walking with his father, Helen walking with her father, and the two of them with farm animals on the family property. They were very close, and Helen carried the pain of his disappearance throughout her life.
A letter from Maurice’s father
PDF, nine pages
One of many letters between Maurice and his father, Edward John Graham, who was often away. They show a warm relationship despite the distance.
A letter from Maurice to his father
Maurice’s own letters were usually short and to the point. Mum confirmed the handwriting matched John Coten’s, a key piece of evidence in confirming who he was.
Zoom call, 30 August 2020
The day the families, long separated by history, came together online: Helen Mulgan and her daughter Kitty, Ned and Hilary Coten, Dick and Hilary Tulloch, Roderick Mulgan, our cousin Dick Porter, and Mum with Jim at her aged care home in Perth.
The Mulgan and Coten families together
Helen and Roderick Mulgan travelled to Perth to meet their brother and uncle’s Australian family. It was the only time all branches of the family were together in one place.
Meeting Hilary and Dick Tulloch
Taken at Richard Porter’s home in London on the day Ned met Hilary and Dick Tulloch. Ned’s story of the search for his father’s family inspired them to start the investigation that finally uncovered Dad’s origins.
Would you like to discuss more about the family?
If you have a question, a story to share or information about our family, I'd love to hear from you.
NED COTEN
Chair, director and executive leader in commercial, data and global sport.
Copyright © 2026 Ned Coten Melbourne, Australia