What matters is what you know is right, and whether you do it.
We all want to be liked. We want the acceptance of our peers. We want to be chosen. We want the stamp of approval from the critics, from the crowd, from the market.
This makes sense, except it doesn't. Isn't it true that most people simply follow the herd? Yet somehow we think it's vindication when they love us. It's strange how much we value the respect of people we don't respect, and the lengths we're willing to go to get it.
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If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval, realise that you have compromised your integrity. If you need a witness, be your own.
EPICTETUS
Marcus Aurelius wrestled with this more than Epictetus did, because he was a public person. He saw crowds cheering him in the street. People flocked to court to heap praise on him, before asking for favours. He also had to put up with their jeers and criticism.
Eventually he realised he couldn't pay attention to any of it. He had to hold himself to his own standard, an inner scorecard, and ignore everything else. The clapping was meaningless. So were the boos. What mattered was his own integrity. He had to be his own witness.
And today, so do you. Approval and disapproval are equally meaningless. What matters is what you know is right, and whether you do it.
TRY THIS TODAY
Before your next decision, ask yourself: would I make the same choice if no one ever found out? If the answer is yes, you're keeping your own score.
Much of what I've learned about Stoicism comes from Ryan Holiday. Find more of his writing at dailystoic.com and ryanholiday.net.
While I have edited much of this content, there are some cases where I have taken Ryan Holiday's words directly. I've included them because I think they are powerful and will be helpful for you. They are also helpful for me, and I've put them here so I can learn and understand more myself.
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