It's the ability to keep your cool when everything around you is pushing you to lose it.
Stoicism is the ability to deal with emotionally charged situations without letting your emotions drive you into a fit or a frenzy, so you don't say or do things you might regret. We train so that when hard things happen, we keep our cool. You know the moment: when it feels like everything is falling apart, or when the person next to you is being really, really annoying.
Seneca tells the story of Cato the Younger, who was shoved and struck while visiting the baths in Rome one day. Once the fight was broken up, he simply refused to accept an apology from the offender: “I don't even remember being hit.”
There's also the story of Marcus Aurelius, betrayed by his most trusted general in a coup, and hardly rattled by it. They could “settle this affair well and show to all mankind,” he told his soldiers, “that there is a right way to deal even with civil wars.”
That's what Stoicism is: the ability to look at it all in the “calm light of mild philosophy”, not to be rattled or driven into a rage, to not even remember being hit, to not be provoked into overreacting. Life is difficult. People are obnoxious. Things are going to annoy you. But can you keep your cool anyway? Can you stay good when surrounded by bad, and kind when surrounded by cruelty?
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Our job is not to lose our temper. Our job is to stay focused on solutions, and to keep doing what is right.
TRY THIS TODAY
The next time you feel your temper rise today, count to ten before you speak. Then ask yourself: what would actually solve this?
Much of what I've learned about Stoicism comes from Ryan Holiday. Find more of his writing at dailystoic.com and ryanholiday.net.
While I have edited much of this content, there are some cases where I have taken Ryan Holiday's words directly. I've included them because I think they are powerful and will be helpful for you. They are also helpful for me, and I've put them here so I can learn and understand more myself.
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